motherhood

did I make my baby cry?

Of course I didn’t mean to but I felt my limits being pushed. And pushed. And then pushed some more. His good sleeping habits seem to come and go which means I’ve dragged my tired body out of bed in the wee hours of the morning more times than I care to remember over the past few days.

You could say I’m used to it and therefore I shouldn’t be bothered but the problem is that napping times have gone out of the window too. The day before yesterday he slept for a grand total of half an hour ALL DAY! And he’d been up since six in the morning! When he decided to do the same today I snapped. And raised my voice. Slightly. OK a lot. The look on his face was of pure and utter shock. It took him a good five seconds to realize what was going on and then he cried. And cried. And cried. And wouldn’t stop.

Was it wrong? Am i a bad mother for shouting at my ten month old baby? Even though i actually know the answer to both questions, I still have one that’s been nagging me ever since: When is it appropriate to start telling your children off? Do I wait until he’s 2 and completely out of control? Or should I get him used to the unpleasantries of scolding now? He knows the word ‘no’ of course. He hears it a million times a day. When I say it there is some harshness in my voice but it doesn’t freak him out the way it did today.

I still feel bad. His petrified eyes looking up at me, filling with tears…But I’m not beating myself up about it because I’m human. Actually I’m a mother. Mustn’t forget that.

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