When life follows its natural cycle, it is parents who die before their children, most often. And this is naturally how they wish it to be. But dealing with any kind of grief is not easy. Grieving their parents is a difficult stage, which will leave every human being transformed forever.
It is difficult to survive the death of one of your parents when, inside you, an intimate part has disappeared. This bond which unites a parent to his child is undoubtedly the most fundamental: it is completely unconditional. Such an intimate relationship is made of sweet memories, of course, but also, sometimes, of regrets. These feelings are made up of wounds to be healed. That is why, you must always seek in life to heal wounds if possible and not be left with regrets about things you wanted to say to them and never did.
Unique relationships, intimate feelings
When you lose your parents, it is normal, and even desirable, to experience great sadness. Grief and tears are part of grieving and are essential to its resolution. It may affect your job and your personal life. Whatever the relationship between parent and child, the grief the person experiences at the death is a legitimate and healthy feeling. There is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. You are not alone and you are not going crazy.
If the parent’s death occurs at the end of an illness, the bereavement may be one of relief. This feeling does not go against the love that one has for their father or mother. In fact, feeling relieved at the end of the physical suffering of a loved one is undoubtedly proof of love.
When a parent dies, it is also normal to experience anger, frustration or guilt. Each person will experience a unique mourning journey when their parents die, just like their relationship with them. Things take time to pan out when someone is dying of illness. You may have had time to plan their funeral in advance, and many plan funerals beforehand.
The grieving family
Parents live perpetually in the heart of their offspring. The values transmitted, the shared experiences; all these gestures, these words, these emotions that parents bequeathed to their children constitute the most precious of legacies. At the end of the positive resolution of the mourning of his father or his mother, the person will undoubtedly have understood a lot of things about death and, since they are intimately linked, about life. So really, you may feel that you are questioning your own life. You may question your relationships at present, or feel that your marriage isn’t working. Perhaps you think that the job you are in just isn’t right and you need to move on. It will make you question everything, which sometimes can be a good thing. You may have had previous worries that are now completely unimportant to you. Perhaps in the past you had not wanted children but this may have made you want to start a family. You will go through phases. Grief doesn’t just end and everyone grieves differently.
This is a contributed post
