Motherhood

Is it me?

Whenever I hear other mummies talking about how they take their babies to concerts or restaurants or visiting after 7 in the evening I get bothered. I literally feel a sadness in the pit of my stomach. Of course it’s all down to jealousy because I simply can’t even imagine messing with Georgie’s routine. New Year Eve is coming up and I am already ultra-stressed about how to deal with it. I have turned down many invitations simply because I fear Georgie won’t enjoy himself. OK I’m lying; it’s because i won’t enjoy myself. “What if you let him nap late in the afternoon?” they ask. Well that MIGHT work if he could actually nap late in the afternoon. My obsession with not letting him nap when he should be awake means that he’ll be active and happy throughout the entire afternoon, playing around with his daddy’s belt and the dog’s toys, but come 6:30, he needs his bath and sleep. In his bed with his music and sleeping bag.

I fought hard to get my baby boy into a routine. I spent hours arguing with grandparents, friends and family who would judge the early bedtime which I felt was the secret to a well-rested baby. Before he turned six months he would wake up up to three times every night for a feed. “Well of course he’s waking up! You’re putting him down way too early,” other mothers would say. Finally at six months, as i’ve mentioned before, he began sleeping through the night.

But whenever something came up – a party, a dinner, a holiday- and i had to keep him up he would spend hours crying, being fussy and making me regret ever leaving the house. He simply wouldn’t settle. As if that wasn’t enough he would finally fall asleep and wake up even earlier resulting in a tired baby and an even more tired mother. I dare even mess with his pre-bed routine! Play, bath and finally a quick feed are religiously followed EVERY SINGLE EVENING. I don’t know what might happen if one is suddenly taken away. Everyone is now amazed with how well he sleeps at night and how many hours he clocks in but it took ages to get it right not to mention hours of crying -from both him and me.

Is it wrong to want to keep things under control and keep my baby happy?

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