I sometimes think about the kind of person Georgie will grow up to be. I think about the kind of things he will like to do and if he will be exceptionally good at one thing, talented, successful and focused. I catch myself thinking about these things when he’s talking to me, looking deep into my eyes, willing me to understand what ‘blath’ means. And then I stop. I snap out of it and curse the moment I read the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. It is, I will dare say, a disturbing yet highly thought-provoking book on parenting. To be more specific, Chinese parenting. Amy Chua, mother of two, tries to apply this strict and anti-Western parenting method while living in the United States with her American husband. She doesn’t believe in sleepovers, school plays, playdates, television and video games and not being the number one student in every subject except gym and drama. Any grade less than A is not acceptable. To establish this, her children are subjected to piano rehearsals while on holiday; their mother tears up two handmade birthday cards disappointed with the lack of effort that has gone into them. Chua explains how different Western parenting is to Chinese with all honesty and rawness. Western parents care about their child’s psyche. Chinese parents do not. They believe their children can be the best, so why settle for mediocrity just because there’s a sleepover involved? They want medals and recognition, they expect obedience and to be made proud. Heartless as Chua’s actions seemed to me I had to take my hat off to her by the end of the book. She has produced two highly successful young women, one of whom has played at Carnegie Hall while the other was accepted (I think) to Julliard. But there’s more to the story than just accomplishment. She devoted endless hours to their cause, rehearsing with them , driving them to classes five hours away and leaving them notes on how to become the best. You just can’t say she didn’t care. Beautifully written letters and essays by her daughters express nothing but love and adoration for their mother, who finally partly surrendered to Western parenting by allowing her youngest, the rebel, to give up the violin and play tennis. They are grateful their mother pushed them to be the best. They apply the thirst they have gained through those tyrannical years to everything they do.
Yesterday afternoon, I followed Georgie around with my camera. He drove his tractor around the house, stopping every now and then to observe birds in the trees and dogs playing outside. He rubbed Lily Rose’s belly and then grabbed his watering can before heading to the vegetable garden without so much as looking for me. These are moments I dreamt of when Georgie was just a wee baby, when he would cry for hours on end and need my constant attention. There was a yearning for quiet times with a book, long showers with no interruptions, movie nights and drinks and conversations with friends all through the night. It’s been a while since adult normality has returned to my life but you know what? It’s SO much sweeter now. With everything I do, there’s a sense of pride, a mother’s sense of pride, i guess. All these independent moments are now filled with thoughts of my baby singing me songs, hugging me in the morning and kissing me so I can get up and make him toast with jam, counting to himself as he plays with his puzzles in his teepee snacking on rye crackers, little conversations we have throughout the day that make me smile and feel blessed that I am his and he is mine.
I was preparing for this cake while on the phone to a friend who asked me how often I bake. I smiled because as of lately, I would say two maybe even three times a week! I can’t be more thankful for my absolutely amazing kitchen that inspires me to do this. i enjoy every moment whether I’m alone with all the time in the world or with Georgie who tends to cook and bake in an very different way to me. In fact i was feeling so brave the other day, I offered papa the chance to choose a cake he wanted me to bake for him. He came up with a Mississippi Mud Pie. I was actually glad because the recipe seemed uncomplicated, it does not require any white sugar and it includes chocolate! I followed a recipe I found in one of my old Marks and Spencers baking book and was blown away. You should really try this one!





