When you try to make a difference in your child’s life, you may find yourself getting frustrated. Everybody can feel the pressure, especially right now. But many parents feel that the one way to express their frustration at a situation with their children is to raise their voice. As a parent, if you do this as a way to get your point across, this can result in long-term negative effects, like anxiety or low self-esteem. Conversely, being a calm parent will make a child feel loved even if they don’t behave well. But what can we do, as parents, to make sure that we are calmer, even if our children make us feel anything but?
Learn and Practice How To Relax
The more relaxed you are, the more this will feed into the environment. Your children may very well be trying to make you angry because this is when they get any form of reaction out of you. And this is something we need to recognise. We can react to our children in a calmer way. But in order to do this, we will have to practice how to relax. It’s about making sure that we get into the habit of toning our stresses down. And we can do this in many ways. You can try modern medicines, such as CBD gummies and herbs like Rhodiola Rosea. But if this is not doing enough, you’ve got to think about a combination of therapies. CBD can help people who feel stress and anxiety, but it may very well be about putting an additional practice in there. For example, if you feel yourself getting angry, giving yourself a time out, stepping away to calm down, and taking deep breaths can help you to get back to a better place.
Look for the Solution
When we get frustrated, being tense or angry is about making ourselves feel better. If you get frustrated with your child because they’ve done something you do not like, it may be better for you to work towards a solution. If your child has done something like make a mess, it doesn’t help to just shout at them, but it’s about making them understand why you don’t like the fact they’ve made a mess. It can be as simple as this. When we encourage our children to clean up after themselves, we need them to clean up because it is going to make the area clean, not because we will shout at them if they don’t clean up. And when our children start to recognise the reason for doing something and showing them the bigger picture, it helps both of you to find a workable and peaceful solution. Your child will benefit because you aren’t getting frustrated at them and you are bonding and reasoning with your child. Yes, there will be times when it feels like they cannot be reasoned with, but if you work towards a peaceful solution, and understand why they are doing something, this can help you both.
It’s Not About Being Right
We can express frustration with our children because it is the perfect opportunity for us to vent, or stroke our egos. And when we get into the habit of feeling like we have power over someone, this is not good. You may think that in order to exert your authority, you have to raise your voice. And it may show you that you think your way is the right way. But your role as a parent is to educate your child between what is right and wrong. You cannot control the choices they make. And sometimes, you have to let them learn the errors of their judgements. This is all about making them see the consequences of their actions. And as long as you do it in a controlled manner, it is beneficial to help your child see the consequences of their actions. Rather than you stroking your ego, and telling them to not do something because it is easier, we have to remember that when it comes to educating our children between what is right and what is wrong, we will have to keep our ego in check. It’s about allowing our children to make decisions based on the information we have given them. It is so easy for us to raise our voices at our children because it keeps them in line, and we have an easier life. But we have to think about the long-term impacts of this.
The fact is that we feel that we need to change our children’s attitudes, but if you are putting across anger and negativity, you need to change who you are. Learning to be a calmer parent is a long journey, but you will get there.
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This is a contributed post.
