A good friend of mine sent me a message on February 14 to wish my littlest happy birthday. She also wished me a happy birthday because alternatively it meant that I had completed my first year as mum of three. So I wrote down some thoughts on what it’s like.
You know that line in the movie Blow where Johnny Depp says ‘we’re gonna need a bigger boat’ ? From day 1 it was clear we were going to need a bigger car. I am such a cliche it hurts. But we did indeed need a bigger car. We couldn’t fit all three car seats in the back and the food shopping would often ride shotgun.
Speaking of food, now I use the whole pack of pennes or spaghetti when cooking. No more wrapping it up and forgetting about it -only to end up throwing it away anyway. I have an impressive range of Tupperware and fancy glass ones too that I use to stock the fridge with. James has an enormous appetite -bless him!- and Danny is now experimenting with new tastes and finger food and Georgie is a growing little person who needs packed-lunch boxes. Thank God I love being in the kitchen but thank God for baby food jars too.
Supermarket runs are…actually not that bad with three kids – I know I can do it online but like Carrie Bradshaw once said: shopping is my cardio. Anyway so they are usually well-behaved during that time. It might be the wheeling them around and sharing a bag of crisps while we do it.
I often think about all those times I cried the first months after Danny was born. I cried alot. And everywhere. I cried in the car, in the bathroom, on the toilet, in the shower, at soft play. I sobbed in my husband’s arms and wiped my nose on his t-shirt. I don’t think i was feeling sorry for myself but I did feel lost and that I was completely in over my head. And it was hard.
I am extremely grateful for the village I have, family and friends helping in any way they can. And most importantly, I am grateful that I have learnt to accept that help. In the past, I found it hard to talk about what I needed, I loathed the feeling of being a burden and would rarely, if ever, ask for help. But from the moment Danny was born, I knew I needed to tear down that wall, end the guilt-trip and create a support system, a team of people I love, who have the ability to help me with the new responsibilities I now have as a mother of three.
Happy Birthday, Danny Boy! May you always smile, my love and keep that little twinkle in your eye forever. x
