Any single parent knows that looking after a child on your own, even with help at the margins, can be one of the toughest challenges of your entire life. It will change you, and it will make you stronger. Without dismissing that difficulty, it’s also important to say that this process is one of the most important and worthwhile efforts you could ever make in life. It’s hard to think of anything else that would take precedence over raising and loving your child, and the effort of pursuing such a goal can give your life meaning and affect every single positive day your child will have during the course of their lifetime.
But that doesn’t mean you have to give up everything else in life, even if your time is limited. Dating as a parent, for instance, can be a tough ask. Getting back into ‘the dating scene’ itself can feel quite nerve-wracking, and some might even feel guilty about hiring a babysitter or asking their parents to look after their child while they head on a date. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and this is more than possible to deal with. In this mini-guide, we’ll discuss a few principles for finding success here:
Just Have Fun
It’s a great idea to just have fun with the process, and not to feel as though you’re forced in a certain direction, or that you need to find a perfect match right now. Of course, wasting your time with people who just want to lead you on isn’t exactly a good idea, and it’s perfectly fine to cut those people out immediately. But if you just want to take dance lessons with someone you love spending time with – why put labels on it? We can often worry about our romantic ‘classifications’ as a single parent, and there’s nothing wrong about seriously searching, but don’t forget to have a little fun, too.
Don’t Feel Lesser
Some single parents can feel worried that no one will give them the time of day due to having a child. But that doesn’t reduce your value, it increases it. Not only have you been able to raise your child mostly alone, but you know more about who you are, and what you want. This allows you to be so much more direct and considerate of your own needs too. Don’t feel lesser, because as they say, the people who matter won’t mind, and the people who mind won’t matter.
Get Active!
It’s all-too-easy to remain completely in your head when dating after a long absence from ‘the scene,’ as it were. The best way to overcome this ‘am I saying the right thing?!’ worry is to find a date that helps you both get active. As we mentioned, dance lessons can be great, but heading to a bowling rink, ice skating, or just going for a walk can be tremendously pleasant too. Exploring an activity or adventure with someone is also the best way to bond. If you don’t want to do the stuffy dinner date, you don’t have to.
With this advice, you’re certain to date as a parent without worrying that you don’t deserve to.
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This is a contributed post.
