Let’s get cosy and candid about something many of us have experienced, but don’t talk about as often as we should. Yup, you’ve guessed it right; we’re diving deep into the world of marriage post-kids. It’s a time when midnight movie marathons turn into midnight diaper changes and romantic dinners are replaced by kiddie meals. It’s an incredible journey, but it can sometimes feel like you’re steering a ship through stormy waters.
1. Keep The Communication Channels Open
Communication is the beacon that guides us through the choppiest of seas. And after kids, this beacon shines even brighter. Your day might be a whirlwind of baby talk and nursery rhymes, but don’t forget the grown-up talk. Keep your partner updated about your day, and more importantly, your feelings.
Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or anxious. Instead of bottling up, communicate these feelings to your partner. Keeping each other informed about what’s going on beneath the surface helps foster a deeper understanding and connection. Remember: Talk. Listen. Connect.
2. Schedule Some Alone Time
Kids are the most adorable little attention-grabbers. But amidst the hustle and bustle of parenting, don’t let your couple-time slip into oblivion. A regular date night might seem like a luxury, but think of it as an essential investment in your relationship.
It doesn’t have to be an elaborate dinner at a fancy restaurant; it could be as simple as sipping a cup of coffee together in the evening or taking a walk in the park while the baby sleeps. The aim is to dedicate some quality time to each other. It’s a beautiful way to remind yourselves that beyond being parents, you’re also lovers and best friends.
3. Share The Load
Post-kids, your life will probably revolve around school runs, laundry piles, and never-ending messes. It’s essential that both partners pitch in and share the workload. Teamwork not only makes the dream work but also keeps resentment from creeping into your relationship.
Agree on a system that works for both of you, considering your individual strengths and schedules. And remember, there’s no ‘women’s work’ or ‘men’s work’; there’s just ‘work’ that needs to be done.
4. Don’t Forget The Romance
Just because you’ve swapped your stilettos for slippers doesn’t mean romance should take a backseat. Surprise your partner with small gestures of love – a sweet note, a surprise hug, a favourite dessert. Reignite the spark by reminiscing about the first days of your relationship, your first date, your first kiss.
It’s the small things that keep the love alive. So don’t wait for anniversaries or birthdays to express your love – make every day a celebration of your togetherness.
5. Seek Professional Help If Needed
Finally, and importantly, don’t shy away from seeking professional help if you feel like you’re stuck in a rut. A qualified therapist can provide valuable insights and strategies to navigate the complexities of marriage and parenthood. If the ship seems to be sinking, don’t hesitate to call in the reinforcements.
Interestingly, you may find advice from some unexpected sources to be exceptionally helpful. For instance, a separation lawyer might seem like a person you would turn to only in dire circumstances. However, these professionals, with their wealth of experience, often have a trove of wisdom about how to avoid the pitfalls they see in their daily work. They can provide preemptive strategies for conflict resolution, effective communication, and fair distribution of responsibilities, all aimed at building a more harmonious and understanding relationship.
It’s important to note that seeking help doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a couple. Rather, it shows your commitment to the relationship and your willingness to fight for it.
Final Thoughts
Sailing the post-kids marriage sea might seem daunting, but with these tips at your disposal, you’re ready to navigate the journey with grace and love. Keep communicating, make time for each other, share the responsibilities, keep the romance alive, and never hesitate to seek help. Marriage after kids isn’t just about ‘keeping things together’; it’s about discovering the new, more profound ‘Us.’ So, hop on board, and enjoy the voyage. There’s a beautiful horizon waiting for you!
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This is a contributed post.
